October 31, 1943

My dearest Hal,

The end of another month and of course that means your homecoming is one month nearer. No matter how long it has to be, everyday that passes is bound to bring it one day nearer.

I am getting $98.00 a month for teaching. I have $6.00 deduction. $4.90 for teacher’s old age pension and 1.10 for victory tax. This month I had $2.00 deducted for dues to State and National Education Associations. It is always something you can’t win. I doubt if it is worth it, but 2 like being busy because it makes the time pass so much more quickly. This job isn’t easy because the children were very poorly prepared last year and I have had quite a time trying to get them started.

Sam has been wearing him shoes over very badly so I am taking him to Dr. Dickerman (the Dr. who works on Mother’s feet) to see why he does his shoes like that. I don’t imagine there is very much wrong but I do like to be sure he is all right. I feel especially responsible since you are not here to help me.

I have been busy this weekend making our report cards. Yesterday I dug up my gladiola bulbs. They are so big in spite of the dry weather. I am hoping for some very special blooms next summer. The whole family enjoyed them so much. I shall plant them in the hope that you may come in time to see them bloom. Everything I do I find myself thinking how much more fun it would be if only you could be helping me do it. I look forward to those years we shall share so eagerly. Yet there are times when I have misgivings. You will find me changed I know. Everything we do is bound to leave us a little changed and all these months you have been gone have left their mark on me. I look older for one thing and I have those awfully bad days when I feel as though some terrible tragedy was impending. I remember how you used to understand and comfort me as no one else has ever been able to and I miss you more than ever.

It is strange, but the memory of your tenderness and the knowledge of your love are the things that make this separation bearable for me. Everyone is kind and tries to help me but it is thinking of you that helps me most. I think there is something wonderful about being able to make someone feel as I do that my future happiness depends upon you, because so much of the happiness I have known was your doing. Frank Munn had just sung “Serenade” by Schubert. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I was safe in your arms again. It was lovely even though it was only a beautiful dream.

We miss you, darling.

All my love,

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